Resource Your Feminine Energy by Busting these 3 Pleasure Myths

3 Pleasure Myths

Being a feminine explorer, I have felt a huge personal conflict with google search! Looking up for words like desire, femininity, self-love and pleasure, leads you to only sexual content of all nature or to vanity of some sort.
No wonder we as women are so disconnected to the various approaches available to us to resource our feminine energy.
When we do not cultivate our feminine energy aka our shakti aka our life-force energy aka our chi , our prana, whatever you choose to call, in a conscious manner, it leads to burn-out, fatigue, resentment, overwhelm (which so many of us are familiar with) as well as gut and pelvic floor related dis-ease at times.
It is high time for us women to shift from the patriarchal ways of living our life, pushing and rushing; and instead practice ways that will sustain our being and also our sanity!
If you are new to the concept of Feminine Energy or Feminine Essence, click on the link below that will take you to my previous vlog where I explain about this innate gift that we women have in great details.

“What is Feminine Essence all about ?”

[bctt tweet=”Your feminine energy is literally a well of vitality, creativity, joy and unconditional love. ” username=”@jonita_dsouza”]
Now tell me honestly, do you feel these energies on a regular basis?
I know when I don’t… it is when I am not able to drink from my own well. It is when I am excessively in my man-mode, going in the upstream current, when I am exhausted from the constant demands placed upon my time and energy. It’s when emotions of lack, fear and not good enough crawl in.

Sounds familiar?
This is why it is important to resource our feminine!
Resourcing our feminine means to open up a steady flow of nourishment from our internal wellspring that in turn supports us in all the ways we want to be, to give, to love and to lead. I teach various embodiment practices in my online programmes, YouTube videos and sacred feminine retreats.
In an ever-increasing intense world, it is more important than ever, to learn ways to relax, receive and resource your feminine energy and in this video, my intention is to entice you to lean into more pleasure to resource your feminine.
Watch the video below where I am re-defining pleasure and busting the 3 myths that will assist us women to create a positive relationship with this aspect of our feminine.
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So let’s talk about pleasure. What comes to your mind when I use this word pleasure? defines pleasure as –
“give sexual enjoyment or satisfaction to”
“worldly or frivolous enjoyment”
According to Merriam-Webster pleasure is used for a feeling of happiness or satisfaction that may not be shown openly.
When you google pleasure, all images are sexual. This limits our point of view to perceive pleasure only when we are in a sexual act.
I personally define pleasure as the moments, sensations, and actions that can lead to immense joy, joy being a feeling of high vibration. 
And that’s the pleasure that I am talking about here. Yes, that includes physical sexual pleasure but also mental, emotional and spiritual pleasure.
[bctt tweet=”Pleasure is experiencing moments, sensations, and actions that leads to immense joy, joy being a feeling of high vibration. ” username=”@jonita_dsouza”]

When we embrace this totality of pleasure, we are able to cultivate a deeper relationship with our body, our senses, our intuition. We then start vibrating the energy of love and contentment, and we attract more of the same from the world.
So what prevents us women experiencing more pleasure in our lives? Our conditioning about the concept of pleasure.

Let’s dive right into the 3 myths of pleasure and bust them!

Myth # 1 : Pleasure = Having More

We are a society addicted to consumption and most of us consider true pleasure comes from buying more stuff or having lot of sexual pleasure or drinking alcohol or eating that calorie loaded food. Yes, that’s all good .. but that’s a very limited way of thinking about pleasure that often leaves us feeling guilty, numb or deprived in the end.
For example, in the past, if I wanted to experience pleasure I would treat myself to one glass of wine. It was a good feeling and then one glass led to second and third and fourth and often led to states of bad hangover next day, wasting my time and energy, which can be used in a better way. I often regretted those evenings later. Here’s where I invite you to reframe your belief so that you can resource your feminine.
True pleasure is something that moves you forward, that gives you vitality. True pleasure is different for everyone. So it is important to explore and why not write down a list of all the things that you know brings you pleasure, without the need to have more and that which will not steal your life-force.
Think about it. What is it for you?
For example, doing something creative, communing with nature, cuddling with your loved ones, dancing on your favourite song, singing out loud. Sometimes true pleasure is simply leaving that pile of dishes, those nagging colleagues, those 100s of emails and sit in silence for 5 mins and staring at the wall!

Myth # 2 : Pleasure is a Reward

We all are familiar with the saying – ‘No pain, no gain’ . Yes, this idea fits very well when you join a gym or are a beginner to working out, but not in your everyday life.
We live in a patriarchal society and our unconscious mind has been deeply ingrained by their values that you need to first work hard to treat yourself to a reward, that you need to earn the reward by hard work. We often even feel guilty to treat ourselves just for no reasons. We have this conditioning that the good stuff will be even better if it comes after the difficult things. Not true!
How many times have you kept that reward, that pleasure for the end of the week or end of the day and by the time you somehow make it through the week or day, you have no energy or enthusiasm to experience pleasure and you end up with fake pleasure that I described earlier!
Many times it is also our resistance to pleasure that makes us only wait for big events to celebrate pleasure. That’s a whole new topic to discover why you resist feeling pleasure.
Afterall we are, what I like to say, the daughters of patriarchy and figuring out our ways out of this old paradigm. So, we are required to ditch this pleasure myth!
Science has proven that reversing the usual order of doing things in our daily life, actually makes us just as happy and perhaps also more productive, i.e. If you first have fun or treat yourself with a reward or pleasure, you are now in a good mood, more relaxed, you have more energy, you feel more creative and work may seem easier.
In order to resource our feminine, what I want you to note down on a piece of paper and stick it everywhere possible is that –
[bctt tweet=”Pleasure is a source, not a reward.” username=”@jonita_dsouza”]
Of  course it is always nice to get a treat towards the end of a hard day or project, but intentionally tuning into our pleasure, especially by connecting with our sensual body and then beginning your task, day , will keep your feminine resourced and not depleted.

Myth # 3 : Pleasure = Expense

This myth kind of co-relates with the first pleasure myth that I shared earlier. Often we think that we are trying to save money or can’t afford to spend, so we cannot experience pleasure the way we desire. We believe that experiencing pleasure means to spend more money, to have what we want when we want. Yes, at times but it does not have to end there. 
[bctt tweet=”True pleasure is not defined by what you can get but what you already have.” username=”@jonita_dsouza”]
True pleasure is not defined by an experience outside of yourself from something or someone. Pleasure is always available to us. We need to learn to cultivate it. Your ability to experience pleasure has very little to do with whatever is happening outside of you. Your ability to experience pleasure is completely free of the external circumstances and is deeply dependent in your ability to be present with yourself.
I know this may trigger some of your belief systems, but this is the way to resource our feminine.
So I am inviting you to become the guardian of your very precious sacred ever resourceful, inevitable quality, your presence.
In my retreats, as part of our morning movement practice, we go through a feminine rising routine where I guide women to become fully present with each and every part of their bodies with their touch, sound and breath. Towards the end I can really witness women’s faces and energies rejuvenated. They look so nourished. It’s a profound experience.
So you see sister, pleasure does not equal expense. You can give yourself immense pleasure by simply becoming present to your sacred body, giving her gentle touch or stroke yourself. As weird as that sounds, activating your skin calms your nervous system.

So sister, to sum it all up …

The only way we can resource our feminine by choosing pleasure, by intending pleasure.
Next time, you are doing something that you absolutely hate or dislike, intend to show up for pleasure first and then engage in that activity. You will notice the difference, the ease in getting things done!

Pleasure is a decision. Just like abundance, pleasure comes to those who notice it, who cultivate it, who choose it, who appreciate it, who celebrate it.

And your feminine totally deserves all the pleasure that is available.

A woman resourced in her feminine is a medicine to this world. They heal the world with their presence alone.

You can be that person.

So I would like to know if you resonated with these pleasure myths.
Have you ever caught yourself in these pleasure myths?


What is the shift that needs to happen in your perspective for you to start using pleasure to resource your feminine?
Share with me in the comments below.
Until next time, choose pleasure..