Today I wanted to share with you a personal story of my recovery from the ‘Nice Girl Syndrome’. If you have been following me for some time now then you will know that I grew up in a small town in India. Growing up I had the societal conditioning that a woman is to be seen and not heard. I was always soft spoken and was very good in sugar coating emotions and opinions that didn’t sink well within me. You know just like a nice girl. I used to avoid conflicts and uncomfortable situations and never use angry words forget about using the swear words!
In one way I must admit that this character served me very well as I learned to develop tonnes of patience within me which you know is a rare trait in our busy stressed modern day life.
But on the other hand I had plenty of experiences where people used me or perhaps I should say now I know better that I allowed people to use my ‘nice-girl’ character to their advantage and I felt hurt many times.
I regretted being nice.
To a large extent I realised that being a nice girl had left me feeling unexpressed.
Does that resonate with you?
Watch the video below for more –
Let me tell you that not expressing our true feelings, desires and emotions to the world is a form of self-rejection and self-abuse because it only leads to resentment! And most importantly it leads to the rejection of our femininity. Many researches show that unexpressed feelings also lead to severe chronic illnesses too.
When I began my journey of following the work of inspiring women I realised that they are not particularly the nice girls because if they were then they would have been people pleasers and not be able to put their ideas and beliefs forward to the masses. However, they knew about compassion, courage, vulnerability and boundaries. And those were the traits that I began to work on to break through my ‘nice-girl’ syndrome.
So how do you break through the ‘Nice-Girl Syndrome’?
Well first of all remember that it is a gradual process that requires commitment and constant practice. It is about becoming comfortable with our own feelings and learning to express them with courage and compassion. If you have taken my self-study programme – Empower Your Feminine Essence then you know that we go deeper in to the roots of our behaviour towards commitment, consistency and compassion.
So here’s my DARE to you if you want to break through the ‘Nice-Girl Syndrome’ –
Speak out your desires to the people around you even if their point of view is totally different from yours.
Remember to come from a heart space of compassion and courage while speaking up your desires and notice how you feel. Notice how the other person felt.
This small courageous act will be a game changer for you to breakthrough your nice girl syndrome because my sister your feminine longs to be fully expressed in authenticity and vulnerability.
Let me know how it goes.. Comment below and I look forward to responding to each one of you.