Have you ever experienced this? Can you relate to what I mean?
Back in 2008, I had it ‘ALL’ (as they say) – a good looking body, a good job, a good relationship, money in my bank account, a good family and a good circle of friends! I loved the London city life! It kept me busy all my life and I enjoyed every bit of it until I found myself caught in the busy-ness of life that burnt me out and threw me in the back seat! Life became monotonous!
I was always a fun-loving girl.. used to laugh a lot..dance a lot.. still shy though! But there was not much enthusiasm in my life anymore. I was doing my best to fit into the norms of the society and other people’s expectations.. a typical people-pleaser!! I felt so uncomfortable in my own comfort zones but denied to step outside the box.
I was confused as I didn’t know what was going on with me. Now that I know more – I was denying the most important aspect of life – evolution, expansion & growth!!
Soon I was getting super drained in my job, my relationship was not interesting anymore and friends became boring. I was tired of it of ‘ALL’! I also realised that esp. in the west, women were under constant pressure to look good to seek attention and that drained me too. You know when you ‘do-the sexy’ and ‘not feel it’! Something was wrong! But I couldn’t figure out what! I soon found myself in the company of fake friends, binging, drugs, had a toxic relationship which killed my self-esteem. The sudden loss of my dear dad added to it! I began to fall sick – did plenty of blood tests but doctors found no answers! I found my body covered with eczema. I no longer felt beautiful. I wanted to run away! But where to?
I was sure that there is no way that I was just born to pay the bills and die afterall!! Since my childhood, I felt deep inside that I was meant to live an extra-ordinary life.. but how? No one ever taught me! I didn’t know what was missing in my life!! It was then time for a nervous meltdown – there I sat in the Southwark Park in London and cried my heart out for hours. I decided not to leave until I get some kind of sign from God (questioning if there was any!!)
All I wanted was some guidance on what was going on with me.. I knew I was a smart girl and will understand if I was given some sort of sign. Nothing happened.. I got tired of crying and returned home.
Next morning, one of my dear friends offered if I would like to be her guinea pig for the new life coaching training that she had completed recently. I had no reason to say ‘NO’!! As they say when the student is ready, teacher appears 😉
That day I put an end to my victim story and my lost identity!!
I spent the next 2 years exploring the true essence of life in a deep spiritual way with the help of several teachers. I changed my job, my circle of friends to a new community that supported my growth, I experienced intense emotions, cried a lot, released a lot of emotional baggage, allowed myself the time to heal all the physical and emotional abuse, connected with my soul and uncovered my divine purpose on this planet – I discovered myself finally!!
I am loving living life outside the box, happily married and fulfilling my purpose of empowering other women!