8 Signs You Are Faking Confidence

Off lately, I have been noticing this quite a lot around, esp. in the personal development industry and I am not totally in favour of it.

I know that the personal development industry advocates that the way to boost confidence is to:

Fake it till you make it!

Science also proves that you can actually fool yourself and others into becoming more confident, finding love, and increasing your happiness. Researchers have found that ‘acting’ a certain way allows your brain to ‘rehearse’ a new way of thinking.

And I get it! Because I have been there! Yes, I did my best to fake it. I trained my mind to think differently and lived my life like that for few years. It all worked fine for me until I got burnt out of faking!

You know what faking just wasn’t enough.

Not many people actually talk about the whole spectrum of faking till you make it.

Changing the way we think can really help us create our desired lifestyle. But what we tend to forget is that we humans are emotional beings – esp. us women. Women perceive emotions in a very different and a much deeper way than men. Well that’s how we are wired in our neurology.

I have studied women’s behaviour since the last 5 years and that has been the basis of my feminine lifestyle coaching. The saying men and women are wired differently is just not a joke. It’s true and been scientifically proven too.

This is why esp. for us women faking till we make it does not really work until we begin to resolve our emotional conflicts.

Look around – there are plenty of women who are faking it; which is absolutely fine but deep inside live with insecurity and unfulfillment.

What is mostly talked about in the personal development industry is to ‘be positive’. How about the negative feelings that we get several times a day?

It’s the same like us trying to cover some poop with snow to make it look good. Eventually the snow will melt away and the stinky rotten poop will still remain!

So let me show the 8 Signs That You Are Faking Confidence:

  • You always feel the need to look good

  • You always need external validation

  • You feel unfulfilled in one or more areas of your life

  • You are very possessive in your romantic relationship

  • You feel insecure in the company of other beautiful and successful women

  • You get bored in your own company (and end up hooking to the internet or TV)

  • You are emotionally needy with your loved ones and sometimes behave in a desperate, angry or untrusting way

  • You indulge in excessive spending (sometimes way beyond your credit limit), eating, alcohol or drugs

I have been there! (You can read my story here) So you may be wondering what my point is.

In my work with several women I have realized that faking confidence till we make it is just not the sustainable way in the grand scheme of life. I spoke with hundreds of women who looked confident and all of them had underlying concerns. I do too!

But today, I have a better relationship with my feelings and emotions and they guide me to feel the real confidence in me. That’s what I want to share with you.

Learning about my feminine essence has connected me deeply to my feelings and emotions and helped me to gain a profound level of self-trust that I no longer have to fake my confidence.

The challenge here is that the world we live in is currently running in a very masculine setup and has drained many of us women of our primary essence, i.e. our feminine essence.

There is a presumption that feminine is all pink colours, weak and submissive! Not at all.

Feminine is the source of the self-trust that I am talking about.

The truth is you do not even have to be confident all the time (none of us are!) as long as you have that self-trust.

If you are called to stop faking it and deepen that connection with yourself so that you can feel good about your body, your thoughts and your feelings, the journey to explore your feminine essence is the place to start with.

And I want to show you how! I would like to invite you to join me on my FREE MASTERCLASS – How to Become Confidently Feminine Without Hard Work , where I will explain to you what feminine essence is and how you can use it to become confidently feminine in an authentic and powerful way and live the life that you really deserve!


I would love to hear from you. Does any of the above resonate with you?

Comment below, come and say hello to me on the Exploring Femininity Facebook Group so that I can continue to being your feminine life-stylist.

See you on the masterclass! Here’s to gaining confidence that will never leave you!

Jonita Dsouza - Exploring Femininity